Good! Let me know in the comments and please share this post to help and inspire others. Bald as as China doll. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my "back pain", Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine Well, because it's awesome. Jordan Belfort: Because sometime in the not-so-distant future, you're gonna be pulling up at a red light, in your beat-up old fucking Pinto, and that person's gonna be pulling up right alongside you in their brand new Porsche. Fuck. No, daddy doesn't even get to touch mommy for a very, very, very long time. But you You, Jordan, you got this way all on your own. Jordan, this is how it's gonna go. However, while Belfort and his cronies partake in a hedonistic brew of sex, drugs and thrills, the SEC and the FBI close in on his empire of excess. But who the fuck wanted to live there? Jordan Belfort, Let me tell you something. Jordan Belfort: Most of the quotes by Jordan Belfort are very inspiring and Ive even included some funny quotes from the movie. Jordan Belfort: [gets a wire] Jordan Belfort lived an outrageous life which ultimately caught up with him. Take your little bowtie Get your shit, and get the fuck out of my office. Jordan Belfort: Captain Ted Beecham: Now that I'm under federal indictment with an electronic bracelet around my ankle, now you decide you don't fucking love me anymore. Oh my God, the emperor of Fucksville came down from Fucksville to give me a pass! I dont even listen to it half the time. Jordan Belfort, Every person around here, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: The easiest way to make money is - create something of such value that . with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. Me, I jack it 12-15 times a week. The 4.95-acre equestrian estate comes with a wine cellar, a ten-stall stable, and a saltwater pool. Donnie Azoff: Fuck you! Jordan Belfort: I don't even know. She designs women's panties too? They were priced between three and five hundred dollars and made you wear a condom unless you gave them a hefty tip, which I always did. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. That was so fucking great. He said even if you don't get convicted I've got a good chance of getting them. Max Belfort: One fucking day, you couldn't keep it together? And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up. The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it. But, you drink enough and you drink a lot and it'll get you fucked up? Donnie Azoff: Mark Hanna: Act as if you're a wealthy man, rich already, and then you'll surely become rich. And they're all shaved too. Yeah, it's getting old and decrepit. I'm in this for the long run, you know? No. The movie also features the "One of Us" chant, which is a reference to the 1930s horror movie Freaks. Hello, John. Robbie Feinberg ('Pinhead'): Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: People have been buzzing about Martin Scorsese's new movie, "The Wolf of . They're up my ass. Here's a list of a few of the best lines from the movie: I want you to deal with Your problems by . Go to a trading floor on Wall Street. Jordan Belfort, OK, first rule of Wall Street Nobody and I dont care if youre Warren Buffet or Jimmy Buffet nobody knows if a stocks going up, down or f-ing sideways, least of all stockbrokers. Mark Hanna: Is he fucking crazy? Jordan Belfort: Oh yeah. And by the way, John, our analysts indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. I still have family over there, though. If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share the idea with you. I want to. Honey oh my God!, you probably had to pay them in cash with your hands! It is no matter. What I'm asking, you Swiss dick, is are you going to fuck me over? I don't even know who Venice is. Jordan Belfort: You can sell anything? Naomi Lapaglia: With their beautiful wife by their side, whos got big voluptuous tits. What kind of hooker takes credit cards? I can't go down there, Jordan. Nicholas the Butler: With their beautiful wife by their side, who's got big voluptuous tits. Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room. Very British, you know. S-so if I, if I sell a stock at $10,000, my commission is 5,000 bucks. [holding his child] Turns out all the FBI really wants from me is to cooperate. What are you, a fucking owl? Technically, you do work for me. Jordan Belfort: is an initial public offering. [to the waiter] Cause I cant keep track of your professions honey! This is "Wall Street" but with Leonardi DiCaprio and Jonah Hill on Quaaludes. Jordan Belfort: Those are rookie numbers in this racket. If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Jordan Belfort: And from now on, it's gonna be nothing but short, short skirts around the house. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Alden Kupferberg: Jordan Belfort: Yeah. They even had an accounting term for it: It was called T and E, which stood for Travel and Entertainment. Jordan Belfort: Do you jerk off? All right? I mean, you're not afraid of like the whole kid thing, right? I don't wanna die, Jordan! 25 grand to the first cocksucker to nail the bulls-eye! I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! Jordan Belfort, I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! Jordan Belfort, If anyone over here thinks Im superficial or materialistic, go get a job at McDonalds because thats where you belong. Jordan Belfort, But before you depart this room full of winners, I want you to take a good look at the person next to you. Max Belfort: I haven't made love to you in so long. Last month you were a wine connoisseur, and now you're an aspiring landscape architect, Isn't that right? Risk is what keeps us young, isn't it, darling? Jordan Belfort: Pop off to the bathroom, work one out any time you can. Okay? I mean, who the fuck wanted to live there? Jordan Belfort: WHY? He's got a gun, you fucking idiot! Like, "Run free!" Mark Hanna: Venice. I finished my paperwork and I was, just had a couple minutes. What the fuck is that kid doing? By the early 1990s, while still in his 20s, Belfort founds his own firm, Stratton Oakmont. there's some very awkward but funny, laugh out loud, moments that i'm still thinking about and laughing to myself over long after viewing. Look at this! it doesnt exist. Don't fucking dare throw that fucking water at me. Well, he says that he only wants to make furniture. Alden Kupferberg, Yeah, like Buddhists. Drugs. [laughing] So I recruited some of my home town boys. Pick up the phone and start dialing! [flashes to Jordan having sex with Naomi] Mark Hanna: I heard some stupid shit. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Cause I can't keep track of your professions honey! Where's my kiss? Right? He's just warning everybody. What? [watching TV] Sides? Act as if you're a wealthy man, rich already, and then you'll surely become rich. Cocaine and hookers, my friend. Hey, sweetheart! You be relentless! Does it even matter to you that I just had that driving range sodded with Bermuda grass, Jordan, and now you fucking wrecked it! Honey oh my God!, you probably had to pay them in cash with your hands! FUCK! There is no nobility in poverty. The real question is this: was all this legal? It's not like Look. $26,000 for one fucking dinner! Well, like you said there's no friends on Wall Street. I mean, I don't want to get personal or anything, but are they okay? But pretty soon, somebody figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just fifteen minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass high from it. Once in the morning after I work out, once after lunch. Max Belfort: But we have to pretend we know. Mark Hanna, The name of the game, moving the money from the clients pocket to your pocket. Mark Hanna, Always keep the client on the Ferris wheel. Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: You know, just people say shit. Jordan Belfort, the former stock broker whose story inspired the hit movie The Wolf of Wall Street, is suing the filmmakers for $300m (229m). Jordan Belfort: Brad: [throwing money at the FBI agents] Absolutely not but we were making more money then we knew what to do with. Jordan Belfort, There is no such thing as bad publicity. And you brought in all the sides Tell him about the sides. Then look no further. Donnie Azoff: This is America. Can I have that Danish? Benihana Beni-fucking-hana? That's not why I do it. Hi, how you doing? Jordan Belfort: Drama, Movie Info. Mark Hanna: I don't love you anymore, Jordan! Give me one for the nerves! Refresh and try again. Everyone wants to get rich. Well that's good news. Okay? Whether America plans to invade Switzerland in the upcoming months. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: But if you can make your clients money at the same time it's advantageous to everyone, correct? Jordan Belfort: You fucking bitch! The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week. Brad: [narrating to the camera] I gotta tell you. What? Belfort was played by Leonardo DiCaprio in the film . Every person around here, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. Jordan Belfort: Leah Belfort: Donnie Azoff: Error rating book. I will not die sober! Righto, Jean, that'll be great Cheerio! She's already got C-cups, but now she wants FUCKIN' DOUBLE D'S! No, no, this can be explained. You're not fucking taking my children you vicious fucking cunt, you! I ask them to judge me on my losers, because I have so few. Yeah? Mark Hanna: Coming Soon. Donnie Azoff: Theyre gonna need to send in the national guard or fucking swat team, cause I aint going nowhere! Jordan Belfort, I am not gonna die sober! Naomi Lapaglia: Does Daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls? Like, um, three or four. In fact, you never did anything wrong in the first place. We grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know. Yeah, no. Donnie Azoff: You know? The Circus: Inside the Greatest Political Show on Earth: Season 8, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to The Most Anticipated TV & Streaming Shows of March 2023. Mark Hanna: Chantalle: Does your girlfriend think you're a fucking worthless loser? Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: It's his first day on Wall Street. The Wolf of Wall Street streaming: where to watch online? Naomi Lapaglia: Then came the Pink Sheet hookers, who were the lowest form of all, usually a streetwalker or the sort of low-class hooker who showed up in response to a desperate late-night phone call to a number in Screw magazine or the yellow pages. Three or four times, maybe five. Whats inspirational about Belforts story is actually how he was able to recover from his fall from grace. Put the fucking car in the park, you dumb fucking idiot! Get off me! Number one rule of Wall Street. You're a sick man! Donnie Azoff: Oh my God! Oh come on, baby. I have a low blood sugar thyroid thing Jordan Belfort: Mark Hanna: I'll do four grand. Jordan Belfort: But it gets even better, baby. Donnie and I were investing in a condominium complex in Venice. Yet Jordan Belfort: fucking digits. Naomi Lapaglia: Donnie Azoff: The story is the memoir of Jordan Belfort, a Long Island kid played by Leonardo DiCaprio who rose to become a millionaire penny stock scammer and boiler-room boss. Regal Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: I called the captain the n-word? Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room, he didn't mean any of it! Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: Expensive champagne and the what, we had to buy champagne. You were on the floor rollin' around and shit. I don't have jack-shit. Oh, I'm good with water for now. Don't you wanna be my friend? Smartest of the bunch was Nicky Koskoff. This is a fucking mayday! Jordan Belfort: I love you so much. You're gonna be seeing an awful lot of this around the house. Naomi Lapaglia: right? Stability. Is that right? Say what you will, but the Duchess did have style. Naomi Lapaglia: We don't start dialing at 9:30, because our clients are already answering the phone! I'm not ashamed to admit it: my first time in prison, I was terrified. So It's Wolf of Wall Street, But for Learning How to Pick Up Girls Stevie Emerson 1.22M subscribers 1.6M views 2 years ago WATCH BLOOPERS FOR EVERY VIDEO. No, I don't wanna implode, sir. Failure is your friend. Jordan Belfort, If I earn a million dollars a week and the average American earns a thousand dollars a week, then when I spend twenty thousand dollars on something its the equivalent of the average American spending twenty dollars on something, right? Jordan Belfort, Ive got the guts to die. Jordan Belfort: The Wolf Of Wall Street is undoubtedly one of the best movies to come out in the last decade.Fans and critics are still divided on whether it glorifies fraud or not but there is no denying that the star-studded biopic offers great entertainment. Sides? Please reference Error Code 2121 when contacting customer service. The Matthew McConaughey's Wolf Of Wall Street chant soon became of the most iconic parts of the movie and is right up there in popularity with the actor's own " Alright, alright, alright " from Dazed And Confused. Donnie Azoff: Jordan, it's fucking good, right? Theyre not gonna dial themselves. See those little black boxes? Mark Hanna: Jordan Belfort: Get those fucking ludes! Coming Soon. Because I want you to come for me, baby. All Id done was taken the small liberty of moving things to their logical conclusion, changing T and E to T and A: Tits and Ass!, If I earn a million dollars a week and the average American earns a thousand dollars a week, then when I spend twenty thousand dollars on something its the equivalent of the average American spending twenty dollars on something, right?, But what I sincerely hope is that my life serves as a cautionary tale to the rich and poor alike; to anyone whos living with a spoon up their nose and a bunch of pills dissolving in their stomach sac; or to any person whos considering taking a God-given gift and misusing it; to anyone who decides to go to the dark side of the force and live a life of unbridled hedonism. I couldn't believe how these guys talked to each other! Why would You be so cruel as to use the king of Japanese restaurants to take me down? I don't drink anymore. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. Hi, fellas! You know what? In 1987, Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) takes an entry-level job at a Wall Street brokerage firm. You know, every time someone rises up in this world, there's always gonna be some asshole trying to drag 'em down. Exactly. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. Jesus Christ. Mark Hanna: Don't you dare throw that fucking water on me! [All at once] Hey Paulie, what's up? WHY, GOD? Honestly, I'm not bullshitting here, this is one of the nicest boats that I've ever been on. A New York stockbroker refuses to cooperate in a large securities fraud case involving corruption on Wall Street, corporate banking world and mob infiltration. The movie, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort was, in my opinion, a masterpiece by director Martin Scorsese. He's a Boy Scout! My wife, Naomi, the Duchess of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. They're not gonna dial themselves. You just made love to me. Jordan Belfort: And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and Im not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. Act as if youre a wealthy man, rich already, and then youll surely become rich. In fact, she's decided to throw them all away. Brad: All you have to do today is pick up that phone and speak the words that I have taught you. Donnie Azoff: I was born too - too early. That's right! Holy fuck, you did just say that. Based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, from his rise to a wealthy stock-broker living the high life to his fall involving crime, corruption and the federal government. Jordan Belfort: And Robbie, who sold anything he can get his hands on, mostly weed. New world. Trained professionals to guide you through the financial wilderness. [Pretends to walk away, but suddenly turns back]. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Good! Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort : [to the waiter] Oh, I'm good with water for now. OK. Jordan Belfort: But I needn't have been. Jordan Belfort: Power. Let me tell you something else. They dont give a shit about money. Naomi Lapaglia: I think you have a fuckin' drug problem. Okay, let's do it. Feel free to reach out and connect. The 3 keys to success in Straight Line Persuasion. Enjoy! It's a whazy. Jordan Belfort: This is Captain Ted Beecham aboard the yacht Naomi! The porterhouse from Argentina. I don't wanna die, Jordan! While the movie opened to positive reviews, it was criticized by some viewers who felt that it glamorized Belfort's white-collar criminal lifestyle. Donnie! The Wolf of Wall Street by Jordan Belfort 34,928 ratings, 3.73 average rating, 2,462 reviews Open Preview The Wolf of Wall Street Quotes Showing 1-27 of 27 "Act as if! All very acidic above-the-shoulders mustard shit. Now as the firm taking the company public, we set the initial sales price then sold those shares right back to our friends. Yeah. Tell me something I don't know, I wait all week for the fucking Equalizer and they have to fucking [picks up the phone, then calmly, in a transatlantic accent]. No, you didn't research the whole thing and deal with the fucking golf course people! They usually cost a hundred dollars or less, and if you didnt wear a condom, youd get a penicillin shot the next day and then pray that your dick didnt fall off. I'm gonna kill myself. And in the case of Aerotyne, based on every technical factor out there, John, we are looking at a grand slam home run. Benihanna, Beni fucking hanna. Don't worry about it, I got it. Jordan Belfort: After they left I checked the apartment. I'm a mutt. I love you, baby. Yeah, there's something a little bit different about his eyes. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: The whole Donnie Azoff: You mailed in my company a postcard a few weeks back, requesting information on penny stocks that had huge upside potential with very little downside risk. I got a couple of mil' comin' in like a week. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. I can't untie you! Robbie Feinberg, the Pinhead, took five years to finish high school. So boring. [whispering] I'm not a scientist; I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. There's no such thing as an Amish Buddhist. Do it differently each time. Jordan Belfort: And you're still acting like an infant! Can't imagine ever not enjoying getting fucked up. People tend to give up. I would, you know, drive it up to the country and just like, you know, open the door and let it say "You're free now!" Some little hooker you were fucking last night? Jordan Belfort: It wasn't even a choice. Keep talking, you fucking piece of shit! Jordan Belfort: I mean, we had similar interests and shit. Jordan Belfort: The only thing that of course bummed me out a little bit about this whole idea is having to give information about my friends. Naomi and I got along. Do I jerk off? Right! [peeing on his subpoena] You had to deal with the gold course people, too! And you know what else? [pushes him away with her legs] Jordan Belfort: Its never landed. The truth was that hookers did take credit cardsor at least ours did! When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up. Trust me. Good for you, little man. There is no such thing as bad publicity. Sweetheart, you have my money taped to your tits. Funny, self-referential, and irreverent to a fault. No, Daddy doesn't even get to touch Mommy for a very, very very long time. Donnie Azoff: Look, I knew these guys weren't like Harvard MBAs. Jordan Belfort: The waves are 20 feet high and building! Fuck you, U.S.A. Fuck you, U.S.A. Fuck you! Let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you with my secretary with an exact confirmation. [after shipwreck] Brad: Come for me. That's who you're gonna be sitting next to! Nobody - and I don't care if you're Warren Buffet or if you're Jimmy Buffet - nobody knows if a stock is going to go up, down, sideways or in circles. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other real soon. Jordan Belfort: I'm not talking about Buddhists or Amish. No, there's no alcohol. More importantly, you will learn. Jordan Belfort: Like, Run free! You know? Donnie Azoff, There was this one time I was selling pot to this Amish dude. Jordan and Donnie cut up lines as a HOSTESS serves Bloody . Jordan Belfort: We are here to make money! Together with his trusted lieutenant (Jonah Hill) and a merry band of brokers, Belfort makes a huge fortune by defrauding wealthy investors out of millions. Jordan Belfort: it should simply be a lesson learned about the world of the stock broker because it's not possible to empathise with his character as everything he does it so vile. Okay, mommy likes to play games with daddy. Who is the one who flew in here at 3:00 in the morning on their stupid helicopter and woke up Skylar? And to anyone who thinks theres anything glamorous about being known as a Wolf of Wall Street. Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you. [when asked who is Captain Ahab] Patrick Denham: Saurel! Jordan Belfort: Shut the fuck up! They're business expenses. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Yeah, there's like a 60 percent, you know 60, 65 percent chance the kid's gonna be fuckin' retarded or whatever Jordan Belfort: Mommy is just so sick and tired of wearing panties. Captain Ted Beecham: Donnie Azoff: Pick up the phone and start dialing! Pop off to the bathroom, work one out any time you can. Mark Hanna: I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. That's the fuckin' point. I'm a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. It's wonderful. Who the fuck has the goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday night? Brad: The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance. It had nothing to fucking do with me. Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: Jordan Belfort: [Naomi walks in on a gay orgy] This guy was smart, sophisticated, professional. Jun 17, 2013, 7:25 AM. Your hair looks good. You don't think I'm gonna see my fucking kids again, huh? You know what I mean? Donnie Azoff: One fucking day. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: ~ Teresa Petrillo. R (Graphic Nudity|Drug Use|Language Throughout|Some Violence|Strong Sexual Content), Comedy, Jordan Belfort: One day, you will do it right. Because, at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of the limo, wearing a $2000 suit and a $40,000 gold fuckin' watch. "Fuck this, shit that. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: A former model and Miller Lite girl. [reacting to market crash] Dont worry, it wont take long. Your profit on a mere $6,000 investment could be upwards of $60,000! Where were they doing it, sweetheart? Jordy, look what you've got here. I am not gonna die sober! Donnie Azoff: Jordan Belfort: There could be. Jordan Belfort: You know? Some stuff about running drugs with Rocky Aoki, you know, the founder of Benihana? Donnie Azoff: Naomi Lapaglia: I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. It's flooded! Yeah. Get the ludes downstairs! What the fuck is going on out here? $430,000 in one month, Jordy. One day, you will do it right. Who's a faggot? Please click the link below to receive your verification email. Once he was an ice cream vendor and now Jordan is the head of a stockbroker office: he's greedy, he loves power and all forms of excess. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. My fucking warriors, who will not hang up the phone till their client either buys. Jordan Belfort: Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. Married people can't have friends? You're almost there! I do it 'cause I fucking *need* to. More importantly, you will learn. Pride. I'm talking about normal people, working-class everyday people. And then once right after lunch. Biography, Know Your Critic: Clint Worthington, Founder of The Spool and Senior Writer at Consequence. and the Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: Terms and Policies The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: She was the one with my cock in her mouth in the Ferrari, so put your dick back in your pants. I got you. Danger at every turn. Jordan Belfort: And I wanna meet Willy fuckin' Wonka, okay? Donnie Azoff: Jordan Belfort: Because if I do decide to cooperate I might only looking at four short years. That's why all this confusion. Jordan Belfort: vials of coke. Hey, what are the citizens of Fucksville doing today when their emperor's gone? Now let's knock this motherfucker out of the park! But it's not like what you think or whatever, you know Jordan Belfort: [to Naomi] Some of these girls, you should see them. I want you to fuck me like it's the last fucking time. On cocksucking, motherfucking new issue day? Last month you were a wine connoisseur, and now youre an aspiring landscape architect, Isnt that right? Jordan Belfort, You got my money taped to your tits, honey. Jordan Belfort: What we're gonna do is this: first we pitch 'em Disney, AT&T, IBM, blue chip stocks exclusive. Who's Venice? How do you say rathole in British? 4. You're not taking my kids, sweetheart. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Drama 2013 2 hr 59 min English audio R CC Watch with free trial Buy or rent Sex. Mark Hanna: Jordan Belfort: Its a woozie. Stop that sweetie, please? So in that sense youre lucky Im not the one who does the hiring around here., contrary to previous assumptions, young men and women who possess the collective social graces of a herd of sex-crazed water buffalo and have an intelligence quotient in the range of Forrest Gump on three hits of acid, can be taught to sound like Wall Street wizards, as long as you write every last word down for them and then keep drilling it into their heads again and againevery day, twice a dayfor a year straight., I laughed right along with her, but inside I was dying.